I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
