can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
