their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
