No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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