My room smells like vodka and shame
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
