there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
