Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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