am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
