and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
