Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
