They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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