I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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