the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
