Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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