At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
