FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
