I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you win again, gameday.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
