the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
