We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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