i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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