not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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