Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
