I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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