We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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