I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
