this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My feet surprised me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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