I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
