Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Randomize
