Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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