Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
