Jerry, you need to find god
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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