Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
