How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
