i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
