There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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