Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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