Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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