There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Randomize
