All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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