you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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