u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
