we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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