You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
