Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
