You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
