I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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