capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
