All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
