I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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