erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
